This episode of the podcast is being brought to you by The Comeback Challenge – 3 Days to Kickstart Your Journey to Bounce Back From Your Setbacks join us here.

Have you grown tired of setting the same new years resolution OVER + OVER again?  Are you exhausted with the unrealistic expectations you put on yourself at the top of every year and the judgement that comes with not meeting them?

In this episode I am sharing the three reasons why I stopped setting New Year’s Resolutions, how I began to take on an approach to goal setting with God and using a them word to guide my journey holistically from year to year, month to month and day to day.  Grab your journal, cause you do NOT want to miss out on these gems!

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Scriptures Mentioned:

Nehemiah 6:3


Related Episodes:

My Journey From Setback to Impact

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on Podbean

Unshakeable Joy

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on Android

Put Your Head Down

on ITunes

on Podbean

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FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hey beacon, welcome home to your bounce back blueprint community Podcast, where you are challenged to be do and have God’s best. As you thrive on your journey from setback to success. I’m your bounce back guide, Tiffany Huff-Strothers. And I’ll be guiding you on the journey by sharing tips, tools, and the T on how I was able to bounce back from escaping death, healing from heartbreak and finding hope in homelessness. And then I wrote an award winning book all about it, and shout out to God. Ever since I was courageous enough to share my story. My life and the lives of women around the world have been forever changed. And as a member of the bounce back blueprint community, I’m called to teach you to do the same. So grab your journal, and let’s build this blueprint. Hey, begin before we start building the blueprint. This week, I wanted to let you know that this episode of the podcast is being brought to you by the comeback challenge. The comeback challenge is happening Tuesday, January 12, through Thursday, January 14, and it is three days to kicking your setbacks in the bud and bouncing back. Listen, this challenge is especially for you if this sounds familiar, you wake up in the morning and tell yourself again, today will be the day you begin to make changes. But you’re paralyzed by fear and you feel alone on the journey. Or you are frustrated with trying to figure everything out on your own. But you don’t trust anyone enough to share your struggles or seek support. Listen, you do not have to do this alone, we don’t grow alone, we don’t bounce back alone, we don’t get to where God would have us to be on our own. And this is an opportunity for you to thrive in a community of Covenant connections, you’re going to get some live coaching and some self paced training and activities. And this is going to kickstart your bounce back journey. So if you are ready to make your comeback in 2021, and you want to be a part of the comeback challenge, and you can sign up with the link in the show notes it is@bit.li slash comeback challenge. Now, let’s get into building the blueprint. And today I wanted to talk to you a little bit about my one word and one goal and why I switched to the power of one. And by that I mean the power of having one goal and one word to be my theme for the year. And to guide everything that I do. And I want to start off by sharing why it’s been several years since I set a new year’s resolution. And I remember facing the idea of ceasing to set resolutions with a very strong resistance. Like literally I was feeling a bit tense and uptight about not professing the challenges that I was going to conquer that year. And you know, the idea that I would never be professing those challenges at the start of a new year. And the truth is, as my life began to shift and take on more of a Spirit led vision center focus, my need to aim towards specific goals at the start of each year shifted as well. And then finally, they became completely unnecessary. And I’ve shared in previous episodes about how I was addicted to achievement, and I will be sure to link to one of those episodes in the show notes. But one of the main reasons why I stopped making resolutions is because resolutions were a reflection of my personal need for control. Yes, I am a recovering control freak. When I was setting resolutions, I will come up with my plan of execution and then pray for God to bless my plans. And while this appeared to work well for many years I was achieving things. It slowly became apparent that my plans and God plans are not properly aligned. Can you relate to that? You know, that whole process of getting to the top of the wrong ladder and feeling unaccomplished? Even though everyone around you is applauding. Meanwhile, God is saying, you are going to need to climb down and start at the bottom of the right ladder for you to get the fullness of my promises. So the more I grew both spiritually and personally, the better. I was able to understand how the shifts that were happening in my life, were for the best and that God was allowing me to take the lead as necessary, but it started with me being able to surrender in during times of reflection and prayer, I recognized while I had set well meaning resolutions, and I was working diligently to accomplish and achieve them, I was consistently missing my mark. And I learned that I had to be willing to go to God and constantly pray for guidance. I had to, like I said, surrender and allow my desires and plans to become his, I had to begin living a more Spirit led life. My process for selecting my annual theme is this exact opposite of the one I used to use to set and plan my strategies for achieving and setting new year’s resolutions. And I know now, I need to pray and meditate and listen for the voice of God to be led in the direction that he sees fit. And I also have to do intentional reflection, not only at certain times of the year, but consistently throughout the year, and be 100% honest with myself. And the same is true for you, especially if you are a person who has the need for control, and has a need to know the solution to a question or problem before you even attempt or take action, then I’m going to challenge you to if you haven’t already stopped making new year’s resolutions and embrace this process of allowing your truth, your self awareness and the presence of God to really lead you on this journey. The second reason why I stopped making resolutions is because for me resolutions were finite. More than once in the past, I have made the resolution to lose 50 pounds, and more than once I have in fact lost 50 pounds. Just to be clear, this resolution had to be made more than once because I gained the weight back. The issue with this resolution and resolutions of this type was there was no plan or indication for what I should or would do once the rep resolution was fulfilled. There was no continuum for maintaining the weight loss I had worked so hard to achieve throughout the year because I was so focused on the achievement itself. So for me, resolutions led me to chase a destination, as opposed to creating a lifestyle or a shift in my life that would be lasting. And what I now know is that with annual themes, I recognize there’s a natural flow. And because there is a natural and Spirit led and aligned flow, there is a continuum. The momentum of last year’s theme was built from the momentum of the theme of the year before that.

And I’ll get into that a little bit more when I share my word. And I recognize that my one goal and my one word themes are guiding principles for building my legacy, and are applicable in all areas of life as opposed to resolutions being limited to say, your physical health or getting promoted on your job or something like that. And then finally, for me, and maybe this is true for you too. resolutions lacked emotion. Since resolutions are so heavily focused on arriving or doing there’s often little consideration given to how you want to feel along the way or the emotions associated with the arrival at whatever that destination is deciding to spend the day after deciding to spend day after day moving closer and closer to a destination. While miserable or feeling negatively for the sake of achieving it became redundant and effective. And felt like a self imposed prison. We have an interview coming up on the podcast that is so great with Evelyn Vasya. And one of the things that she says is you cannot hate yourself then. And so you cannot hate yourself to a goal. And when I say yourself, I mean you cannot hate the process yourself is going through right it can be hard, it can be challenging, but if you hate it is it a journey that you even want to be a part of your life again, I’m not saying that you have to love everything that you grow through, but to hate it is very extreme. And so a clear sign that your theme or your one word and goal is right for you as being able to apply it to your life holistically. Regardless of what area of your life you are reflecting upon or examining or working to improve. Your theme should guide those activities. If you cannot align your one word and goal with your intention spiritually, mentally, emotionally, professionally, financially, socially, then you may want to spend a bit more time and money prayer and meditation and in reflection, and you really, really want to be patient with yourself through this process. So here are some steps you can take, if you’re not sure where God is leading you. Like I said, you can pray with only the expectation to hear from God, not necessarily your own intention, or your own resolution or your own plan, pray openly to hear from God to get clarity. You can also be intentional about spending quiet time alone with God and reflecting about lessons and blessings not only over the last year, but it can be over the last week over the last month, right? So setting aside the time to spend with God and yourself to really reflect on what is or isn’t working, and how that informs what needs to change, and then who you need to become in order for you to make those changes. And then of course, you can write through your thoughts and feelings, and responses to these answer prayers, what you hear from God, and what your self tells you in response to these questions. So that’s kind of why I now have the one I have one word and one goal for each year. And in fact, this year, I have one color that God has given me. So I will talk to you a little bit about my one. So I shared an episode in 2020. In fact, it was my birthday episode, an unshakable joy. I will link that in the show notes as well, that my work for 2020 was unshakable. And in fact, for me, oftentimes, my word for the calendar year to come, comes between my birthday, which is in June, and October. So God begins to prepare me for what is to come often, prior to I enter my own personal year end season, a reflection, if you will. And so in 2020, my word was unshakable. And the reason why God told me that that would be my word. And while I knew it will be something in that area because I was very distracted, I was looking around a lot, I knew that God was calling me to do the work I was doing. But I was looking around a lot at for the how I was looking around a lot for if I’m honest, the validation of me doing it right. And God was saying to me, you’re too distracted. You’re trying to do so many things at once that you’re not executing anything with excellence. And I need you to put your head down. And he brought me to the book of Nehemiah and I was studying it. And specifically, verse three, really resonated with me. And so it became my one scripture to go with my one word unshakable for 2020. And the Scripture, which I’m not giving you verbatim, basically, is Nehemiah saying to the people who were trying to interrupt him from building the wall at the time, that you know, I don’t have time to come down and deal with you. I’m not addressing that right now. I am doing a great work, I cannot come down, I am doing a great work. And so it was for me, also God affirming that he had to find great work to me. And he needed me to be focused more than ever on the fulfillment of my purpose and call because there were others blessings and breakthroughs assigned to my ability to be unshakable. Just like in the case of Nehemiah, and those who he was leading as he was building that wall. And so as the year progressed, and I continue to reflect, as I said, and I moved through the year, and I had a lot of milestones, it was a milestone year for me, I turned 40. So a lot of things were changing and relationships were changing. And then of course, we entered into a national pandemic. And so I had the foresight and was giving me the foresight that there were going to be some major distraction, there were going to be a lot of shifts and changes happening. But even still, he rewrote he wanted me to remain unshakable and focused on what he had me to do. And so as the year progressed, he spoke to me one day that I had everything that I have been praying for, and the reason it didn’t look or feel the way thought that it would or should, is because I wasn’t stewarding it well. And that was a huge gut punch. But when I sat back, and I reflected on that, I knew it was true. So much of what I have. And what I do is what I pray for, to be able to have the clarity and the courage and be committed to doing what God has told me to do. So if you don’t know, I will be celebrating four years of marriage in March of this year, I have two sons, I am a homeowner, I run a nonprofit that I started. And I have been able to build it from next to nothing to now getting a salary. And I also have this business and this podcast where I’m able to share and encourage and coach women just like you. So you know, I have great community and so many opportunities. I’ve written books, and I help other women write books. So a lot of what I’ve prayed for has come to pass. Right? That’s not to say that life is perfect. But what God made expressly clear to me was that if I was being a better steward, the picture would be much more perfectly imperfect for me the way that he intends. And so you know, in my prayer and my meditation and reflection time, we decided that my one word would be cultivate. And that is, because if I’m going to be a better steward, then I’m going to need to cultivate stronger relationships with what is most important. And so my one word for 2021, is cultivate. And my one goal is to cultivate stronger relationships. And to be clear, like I said, both this word and this goal, are able or are applicable, I should say to my entire life, right? So I need to cultivate a stronger relationship with God in my spiritual life, I need to cultivate a stronger relationship with myself. And that is, you know, with my health and taking better care of myself holistically, I need to cultivate a stronger relationship in my marriage with my husband, my children are on their way, very close to graduating high school, once a junior, well, one will be a senior in the fall one will be a junior in the fall. And so cultivating stronger relationships with them. I need to cultivate stronger relationships with donors and with corporations who support the nonprofit. And of course, I need to cultivate stronger relationships with you here on this podcast and with the women that I’m coaching and even with the women that I have the potential to impact whether they are working with me or not. And so I am really excited about this year, I’m really excited about what will happen, what will happen and what will be made manifest with me focusing. And here’s the other thing that I want to say about having a one word goal, or excuse me having one goal. And the one word focus is that it sets a standard for you that if What if you are approached with an opportunity, or someone invites you to something or to do something and it doesn’t align with that goal, or your work, then you know, you can say no with intention, and without malice and know that in doing so you are saying yes to being aligned with God and what he has called you to do. Now, I want to be sure that you understand that I am that I am clearly communicating that within that big goal, to cultivate stronger relationships. There are specific projects that I’m working on. And there are specific tasks that are going to be necessary to complete to bring that to fruition, right to measure my success, or lack thereof, or my progress at the end of the year. Right. And so I think it’s very important to recognize the difference between a goal and a project and then the tasks that it will take to complete each project so that you meet your goal and I can give you an example. So for me, cultivating a stronger relationship with my money, right with my finances is really important this year. And so one of my projects this quarter is to develop a realistic budget for my family right for we are going to work together to develop this budget. And so within that some of the tasks that are going to be completed some of the projects within that are this month. We are having a note spend a month right. So what that means is we are spending money specifically on necessities right specifically on the things that we will have to do every month, regardless of what month it is. And the reason why is because for us to really understand and get a good grasp on what our monthly expenses are, we need to see them without all of the extras that we add in. And so it’s been very challenging, especially with all of the sales, you know, that come at the top of the year and after Christmas and all of the opportunities. But I know that it is going to strengthen our family, and strengthening my relationship with my husband is strengthening the relationship that we have with food, right, because we’re not eating out, we’re not ordering out. So I’m being very intentional about preparing my husband’s lunch, which, you know, overflows into, like I said, cultivating that stronger relationship with him. So you can see how this one goal is having an impact holistically on not only my life, but the lives of the people in my family, and also those that I am called to serve. So I want to challenge you. First, I want to encourage you, because you know, it’s already January 6, when you’ll hear this episode, right? And the world will have you thinking that you have to have your plans for the year already figured out. And if you don’t, you’re behind and you should have done it in the last quarter. And you should already be hustling yourself to death. But I want to encourage you that you are right on time you are not behind. And I want to challenge you. To be honest with yourself, and ask yourself if you have already set goals or set resolutions, where are Spirit led? And where are they finite? Where did they lack emotion, were they focused on you having control. And then I want you to also challenge yourself to consider how your life would change if you gave yourself permission to set one goal. And if you challenge yourself to set a goal so powerful, that it will not only transform your life, but the lives of those around you and those that you are called to impact. And if you are up for the challenge, then I want to know what your one goal is, I want to hear from you about what your one goal is and what your word is. And if this episode has been helpful for you, of course, you know, you can jump in my DMS on Instagram or Facebook, I am at the Tiffany half, you can take a screenshot of this episode and share it out. If it Bless you, it will likely bless someone else. And of course, if you are looking to get the support and the clarity around your one, if you’re ready to become unshakable and remove the distractions and the clutter, and really cultivate the life that God has called you to, and you want to set a solid foundation for that by getting to your one goal in your one word, I would love to be your coach and guide through that process. And I am now enrolling new coaching clients. If you’re interested and want to have a chat about how we can work together, and how I can help you make 2021 one of your best years yet, then I encourage you to grab the link in my show notes and schedule a breakthrough session it is free of charge. And you can do that@bit.li slash your bounce back guide. But if you aren’t ready for that, then I implore you to join us for the comeback challenge. It will be just what you need to kickstart this reflection process, to kickstart your journey to build your confidence and clarity and to build some great relationships that you will have with women who are like minded to both encourage and challenge you through this year. So don’t be out in the streets saying you don’t have anyone to help you because I have given you two options to get the support you need. And it is available right now. I look forward to seeing you for the challenge. And I cannot wait to learn about your one goal and your one word. I pray that you are blessed by this episode. And of course I will leave you with this. God is not going to play you but if you’re out here in the streets, setting, unrealistic, Miss aligned goals and you’re not seeking Him about what he would have you do be and have a promise you are laying yourself be blessed.