This episode is part of “The Lies We Tell Ourselves Series” and is going to BLESS you.

Our guest is Evelyn LeVasseur. Evelyn and I discuss the challenges with assigning our value to our looks, how our beliefs about health and wellness impact our children and our legacies, and how to break the cycle of yo-yo dieting, chasing false images of perfection and the power of a changed mindset on changing your health and your life.

Evelyn is the owner of Evelyn LeVasseur Fitness, a company that focuses on helping busy, overwhelmed moms reach their body goals without dieting or deprivation.  Evelyn knows that moms can be especially hard on themselves and expect perfection, in our homes, jobs, marriages, and of course with our bodies.

She wants every woman to know she can want to change her body and love it at the same time. Most importantly, Evelyn knows that moms want what is best for their children and having negative feelings about ourselves can lead our children to have negative feelings about themselves too. So, Evelyn is sure to approach all things from the angle of knowing that our actions shape our children and the legacies of health we will leave them.

Evelyn is a certified group and personal trainer, a hormonal fat loss coach, and has a specialization in behavior change. She also has a BA in Psychology and a Master’s in Education.

You can connect with Evelyn on IGFacebook, and her website here.

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Tiffany: Hey beacon, welcome home to your bounce back blueprint community Podcast, where you are challenged to be do and have God’s best as you thrive on your journey from setback to success. I’m your bounce back guide, Tiffany Huff-Strothers. And I’ll be guiding you on the journey by sharing tips, tools, and the T on how I was able to bounce back from escaping death, healing from heartbreak and finding hope in homelessness. And then I wrote an award winning book all about it, and shout out to God, ever since I was courageous enough to share my story. My life and the lives of women around the world have been forever changed. And as a member of the bounce back blueprint community, I’m called to teach you to do the same. So grab your journal, and let’s build this blueprint. Hey, begin. Hey, before we get into building the blueprint, this week with our fabulous guests, I want to make sure that you are aware that I am available to support you on this bounce back journey. Listen, I know what it’s like to wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and wonder who in the world is the woman looking back at you. I know what it feels like when life knocks you down and you have no idea where to even begin to pick up the pieces and rebuild and start again with clarity and with the courage to get past the shame and the hurts and failures. So if you are feeling this if you are in this space, I would love to support you love to work with you. And it’s very easy to get started. All you need to do is grab the link in the show notes and schedule your breakthrough session. It slash your bounce back guide. No Obligation Of course this is an opportunity for us to chat and see if we are a good fit to work together and make 2021 the year that you begin to get things done so that you can live and be and do and have all that God has called you too. I look forward to talking to you. Now let’s get into building this blueprint. Welcome back ladies for another episode of our the lies you tell yourself series. I am so excited because today we have an amazing guest she is Evelyn alabaster, Evelyn Ambassador fitness and we are talking all about the lie that you will never lose. I will never lose weight. I will never have a body that I feel good in or about. Let me tell you about my sister Evelyn before she comes on to the mic. Evelyn is the owner of Evelyn Ambassador fitness, a company that focuses on helping busy overwhelmed moms reach their body goals without dieting or deprivation. Evelyn knows that moms can be especially hard on themselves and expect perfection in our homes, jobs, marriages. And of course with our bodies. She wants every woman to know she can want to change her body and love it at the same time. Most importantly, Evelyn knows that moms want that, excuse me want what is best for their children and having negative feelings about ourselves can lead our children to have negative feelings about themselves too. So Evelyn is sure to approach all things from the angle of knowing that our actions shape our children and the legacies of health we will leave them. Evelyn is a certified group and personal trainer of hormonal fat loss coach and has a specialization and behavioral change. She also has a BA in psychology and a master’s in education. Whoo. Welcome, welcome. Welcome, everyone to the show. I’m so glad to have you here.

Evelyn: I’m so glad to be here. I’m thank you for inviting me.

Tiffany: Yes, yes, there’s so much goodness that I want to unpack just from your bio. But before we dig into this conversation, please tell the community who you are, who is Evelyn beyond the bio.

Evelyn: So Evelyn alabaster, like you said, I have a gajillion certifications, a lot of experience in the area before I became totally aligned with my health journey. I was a middle school teacher. I taught middle school English for 11 years. But I feel that my story started really young. I was super fit and athletic growing up. I went to college and was a lot less active. A lot more interested in you know, partying and hanging out and drinking beer and eating pizza. So I found that freshman 15 and because I had been so defined by my appearance for so long, when I started to gain weight, I started to lose myself. I started To lose who I thought I was. And that’s when I found dieting and dieting really made me feel like I was in control because I could just manipulate my food a little bit and my body would change, you know, until the diet stopped working. So I literally cycled on diets for such a long time, until after I got married. And that’s where things started to change dramatically. For me, my husband wanted to have kids immediately, and I was not ready, it took me a couple years to get on the same page. And I always thought, you know, because I decided I was ready, then things would just work out. But I had two losses, which left me just very disconnected with myself very unsure of everything that I was as a human being. And when I finally tried a third time, the nine months felt not like, it’s it’s horrible to say this, but it didn’t really feel joyous, it felt terrifying, because the thought of losing a third baby would break me from the inside. So a part of me like, didn’t let myself feel that hope. And all along, I was waiting for somebody to tell me again, that horrible sentence that I heard twice before the baby’s gone.

Tiffany: That that that right, there is so much to unpack. So let’s pull it back just a little bit back to that college, who found herself on a cycle of like dieting and maybe deprivation? How did you get into the cycle? Right? Like, was it a norm for you growing up that you know, someone around you was always on a diet? Or was it the culture of the college community that you were part of? How did you get to the point where you were like, Hey, I’m going to lose this freshman 15, I’m going on this diet, this diet, this diet?

Evelyn: Well, you know, I feel like it was more that growing up, because I was so athletic. I would say 90% of the attention I received from other people for you know, first in sports, my friends. And as I got a little bit older men was all focused on how I looked so much that it literally became in my mind, it was equivalent. Evelyn has a great body. Therefore, if Evelyn doesn’t have a great body, then Who the hell is she? And it was so much. So when I started gaining weight, I felt like Who am I, I need to get this fixed quickly, so that I can get back to feel myself.

Tiffany: So what I hear you saying is that you really associated a lot of your value with your physical image, you’re 100%. And I know that there is someone who is listening right now who has that very thing. And I appreciate you being 100% transparent about that. So you get to college or freshmen. And like so many of us the freshmen, 15 or 20, maybe even 30 or 40 pounds on right, what happened? Or At what point did you realize I need to do something? Was it that you stopped getting the compliments and attention? Or was it that you did it feel good? yourself? what triggered the cycle?

Evelyn: I think when I started seeing that, there were so many girls around me that were athletic and fit. And I started to compare myself, you know, I used to look like that. I used to feel like that. So because I was so enthralled in being defined by what I looked like, and seeing people around me maintaining that I felt like I felt less than because my body was changing, and I couldn’t do anything about it. So you know, there’s also a little part of it, that there’s an issue of control. I feel like that losing yourself, that comparing yourself, you kind of feel a little out of control and you start grasping at straws, like I need to get a hold of myself. And I think I found that control in dieting.

Tiffany: I see. Okay, so was there a particular introduction or into dieting? Or was there a fad diet at the time that you thought this is it? This is my silver bullet. I’ll just do this and it’ll be fine.

Evelyn: I remember seeing at the time, Weight Watchers was getting super popular. All you got to do is count your points and you’re going to lose this weight and you’re going to feel great. So I’ve counted those points like crazy and of course because I was 19 years old, that weight came off pretty quickly. You know, your body hasn’t really gone through all the hormonal changes that it does. So again, and that kind of just reinforced that control feeling because it was like, Oh, I could just count my points up, eat whatever I want based on these points, and I’m looking me in and out, and then and now and then and out. And then you know, when you stop counting points, you put the weight back on, and you try another diet, because you never really handled what the problem was to begin with.

Tiffany: Right? So the problem becomes the diet, not that you have control issues, or that there is this poor self image, or any other myriad of things that we as women do, right? You said this went on for years. Now you’re, you’re a professional woman, and I’m going hair clothes, right? You get out of college and get married. And still there’s this struggle with weight, though, during those years, did you continue the cycle of dieting? Yes, 100%.

Evelyn: And I would, I would exercise like crazy. And I would be really controlling over my food. Never acknowledging that, that behavior, pushed me further and further away from being able to trust myself. And what I know now is that trust cannot exist with control. 

Yes,it’s the truth, trust cannot exist. With control, you can trust your body, you can trust the people in your life, you can trust that your will is what it is, but you can’t control it. So you can have trust or you can have control, but you can’t have them both at the same time.

Tiffany: And so at what point did you come to that realization? or What was it that happened in your life that caused you to rethink, excuse me, the cycle that you were on, and the mindset that you had about your body and the control that you needed to have, in order to be your version of healthy?

Evelyn: Okay, so I feel like this kind of came in waves. For me, it was like layers. So the very first layer was when I finally had that successful pregnancy, and the doctor put my baby next to my face. Now, when I tell you prior to that, I remember not praying more like begging God, to let me be a mother, like, if I could be a mother, I will be the best mother, and not just do everything for my child, but teach her all the ways to be the best way that she could be. And when she was born, and the doctor put her next to my face, and I said, Oh my god, she’s real. This is happening. I’m going to do this, I’m going to be the best mother that I can be. And that’s when it hit me. How can I be the best mother that I could be? If I’m not the best me that I can be? How can I love her so fully? If I’m not willing to love myself the same way? And that’s where my healing started? was seeing my impact on my daughter.

Tiffany: So but that was after you had your daughter after having had two miscarriages? right? Correct. So I think it’s very pivotal just to backtrack a moment and how, you know, the loss, which I’ve never experienced, but I can only imagine was devastating to add on top of the challenges that you were having with your wait. How did you muster the courage, even prayed that prayer to ask for another opportunity to become a mom, because I know there’s someone listening who’s who’s thinking about a loss that she suffered or trying to lose weight and is bargaining with God between losing weight or having a baby because of the potential weight that might be gay.

Evelyn: I think that the journey the journey had to begin with me relinquishing a little bit of that control. I had to let go of my pain and trust that God had intention for me. I had to that’s the other part when you’re trying to be in control. You’re trying to ignore your pain so I had to learn how to feel it. I had to learn how to share it with my husband because it’s so difficult when you’re in that space. The the myriad of feelings that you have coming at you in all directions like you don’t trust your body. Like what do you mean? What do you mean there was a baby there and now there’s no You know it, it creates such a disconnect.

Tiffany: I hear you thinking very clearly that this process from for you to get healthy and also for you to become a mom requires you there surrender so much by not only trust yourself but trust God that he could, you know do exceedingly abundantly more like his work says even with the losses even with having had years of yo yo dieting and Isn’t it amazing that he gave you the double portion blessing at once your child and a newfound fire to get healthy?

Evelyn: Yes, yes

Tiffany: So what did that transformation look like? Once you you know, I mean, I can just see you like a movie where the doctor, baby dad like this? Is it like I’m going to live for my babies? You know, what did that look like?

Evelyn: So it was exactly what you’re saying, if you I can picture that day, like it was yesterday, I’m laying on that C section table, my arms are spread out because you know, you’re kind of strapped to the table. And he all along. I didn’t believe that that baby was there. I knew that my body changed. I felt her move. But a part of me had such a wall up because I was terrified that they were going to tell me this isn’t happening. And when they put her next to me, it was like the world stop. And I’m breathing. For the first time like this is real. Thank you God, I am not going to let you down. And I’m not going to let her down. But I have to be honest, although I raised her 100% with intention, and I raised her to focus on her character. You are so smart, you are such a problem solver. I love that you can tell me when you’re upset. You know, I love how kind you are from when she was a little little girl. And then three years later, I was blessed with my second baby. So I have two girls now. And I always raised them with intention. But just two years ago, I was at a picnic with both my daughters and my husband and they just come out of a pool. And I serve them their lunch. And a woman says to my daughter, honey, I want to die. Just tell the story. Honey, if you want to keep that figure you better back up off those burgers. No. Yes. So it hit me first of all, like when I stopped raging inside, because I I spent so much time and energy to not make her see herself as being valued by her exterior. And somebody else just came in like crushed that. And that’s when I realized then that as mothers, we don’t see how our words affect our children. We don’t see that as women as a whole. Even though we want to be valued as more we still reduce everybody to the size of their pants, you know. And that’s when I realized that I had been living intentionally, I had been focused on growing their character intentionally. But I wasn’t fully in acceptance of mine. Still, there was a part of me that had still even though I had a higher purpose that was totally outside of me, a part of me still did not feel that connection with my worth and my value. I had just transferred that control from myself to now putting all of my energy into being the best mom. And that’s where my story is a little bit more difficult because a little backstory when I was in high school, my grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. And it was very difficult to watch. You know, he was a general in the army reduced to someone who would sit on the couch and he didn’t recognize us anymore. And I remember walking in on my mom praying and saying, My God, please don’t ever let me forget my children. And that stuck with me forever. So a few years ago, we started to have concerns about my mom and things that she would say and repeat and my whole family got together and we decided that we would have her get an MRI and she was diagnosed with dementia and I was driving when The doctor called me. And I remember pulling over into the mall parking lot. It’s freezing, you know, it’s one of those cold days, you don’t really get those in Atlanta like, it was one of those cold cold days where the sky just it was great and dark. That’s what I can picture. For some reason the mall parking lot was pretty empty. And I remember thinking, like, I’m gonna watch my mom’s greatest fears become her reality. And then, at the same time, the words came out of my mouth, and I didn’t even realize it like, Oh, my God, please do not ever let me forget my children. And that moment is when everything changed for me, about my mindset, about my value about my feelings about myself, because I realized that I had begged God for this life. I had everything that I prayed for right in front of me. But I was never living in gratitude of the gift that I am. I put myself last. And I realized that my mom’s suffering was the catalyst to my own healing. I’m sorry. It’s so difficult

Tiffany: how God uses people, in our experiences, to blow our minds and change our lives. Let’s talk about that shift that happens, specifically, what the mindset, I know that is huge when we are when we’re going to do anything, when we’re going to make any change, it starts in our mind. So what did you do? Or what happened in your mind after that cold day when you got that new?

Evelyn: I think I started to look at myself a little bit differently. I started to be able to say, and I could hear, I was having this long, drawn out conversation with God in the car. And after I pulled myself together, I felt him say, like, I have given you everything that you need, starting with you, and you’ve been ignoring it.

Tiffany: so you can I just tell you, everyone, that all of the decisions that I’m making right now in this year are the result of God telling me last summer, you have everything you’ve prayed for. The only reason it doesn’t look or feel the way you think it should, is because you’re not stewarding it well. So I guess he’s using you to tell me that again.

Evelyn: Just a little reminder,

Tiffany: a little reminder, and I know not only for me, I hope somebody caught that you have to be a good steward of what you pray for, you have to prepare for what you pray for. So when you got that message, what did you do with it?

Evelyn: I first of all, I sat my husband down and I’m like, how? How have I been living so blindly? All this time, I keep asking for more and wanting more, and pouring into everybody else, without ever having known that, like, I was here for a reason. I am asking for gifts, but I am one. And how dare I disrespect the gift that I am by living life not acknowledging it. And I feel like that’s when I was able to, for the first time in my life, start to relinquish control, and start focusing on trusting my gut. And that came slowly, but intentionally, to constantly be mindful to constantly be present, to wake up every single morning and tell myself what I’m grateful for, rather than what else I need to strive for.

Tiffany: Yes, or what you didn’t do yesterday.

Evelyn: Yes, Yes

Tiffany: And so that gratitude, I’m sure has a dramatic shift. Right, the way you like you said from the moment you woke up, things were different. Yes. And I’m a firm believer that the best way to express our gratitude is to be is to be a good steward over what God has given us. And our bodies are not an exception to that. Absolutely.

Evelyn: Absolutely. You know, it’s funny, I read actually a quote this morning, that kind of blew my mind. It said, I don’t want to butcher it, but it was somewhere along the lines of we say that life is so short, we should embrace it. But then we say in the same token, change is hard. Take your time. So what is it you have all this time? Or you got to move fast? Which one is it? I feel like the part of change that is hard and takes so much time is the fact that we don’t have clarity around it and once we gain the clarity to Dry, suddenly, it just happens. It happens and you’re aligned, and you’re comfortable and you’re confident, and you wake up. Happy to just be you.

Tiffany: I’m ready to do the word. Ready. Yes, buddy. That is so good. Because I’m a strong proponent of clarity. I don’t think people understand the currency of clarity and not only financial currency, but a currency that is the wealth of your health, the wealth of your knowledge, the wealth of your vision, right? It’s, it’s got infinite value. So with this newfound clarity and this newfound gratitude and this new mindset, how did you begin to tackle getting healthy without going back into the cycle of dieting?

Evelyn: So I started with telling myself that, if I know I have all the answers, I need to start asking better questions to myself. And that was, I mean, and it was the hardest thing was turning off all the MIS information that I had been fed for all these years about food and nutrition

Tiffany: And we always say that, what did you have to do

Evelyn: get rid of all the misinformation, all the mid Listen, the, you have to cut out carbs in order to be healthy, you have to be willing to give up everything around you, in order to have the body that you want. You have to work out X amount of days, it’s all or nothing. You’re if you think you’re worth it, you’re you’ll give it all up. And those are their lives. Those are lies, those are lies, those are lies, I will tell you I am I turned 42 last year. And I am the healthiest the leanest, and the most comfortable in my skin than I have been in my entire life. And I do it all without questioning my food, feeling guilt or shame around it. Without one ounce of dieting, it’s 100%. Being mindful, being focused on how my body feels being grateful and focused on my life, rather than chasing a body that I want.

Tiffany: You know, that’s so good to have a way to be able to get to the point where you stop chasing. And I think that for a lot of us, myself included at certain points in my life, if I’m honest, that is what we are chasing, we’re chasing this picture that we’ve created or that we’ve been that someone projected onto us, right. And so we’re doing whatever it takes to get to that picture. However, it is so freeing and empowering to get to know yourself and create a picture of yourself in your best state of health. But it’s not easy, right? I don’t it’s a simple, it’s simple. But that doesn’t mean it’s not going to be hard. And this might work. Because I’m sure there’s still somebody who’s listening is rolling their eyes and turning up or twisting up our lips and saying it sounds good. But you still have to cut this or you still have to stop that or I don’t think I’ll ever lose this 200 pounds I’m carrying around. If I don’t go on a diet? No, when you have a client who comes into your studio or that you’re working with who has that challenge with cutting off all of the misinformation. How do you encourage her? How do you challenge her? How do you support her?

Evelyn: We always start with digging way deeper than that surface level response. Because Truly, I need to cut this or I need to drop this way or I need to focus on XYZ is always just the surface response to a deeper issue. So I’m gonna tell you right now, I mean, overeating. carrying extra weight being unhealthy food is not the issue. Food is just, you know, a byproduct of that issue you resulted in. Absolutely. So if we can get down to the real issue and tackle that the food decisions come so much easier.

Tiffany: And and what might be some of those real issues? I know that is a loaded question. But if you could say maybe two or three of the top issues that you see with your clients, or women that are struggling to release those, or unlearn those things that they have learned in the past, what would they be?

Evelyn: I would say trust

worth and disconnect.

Tiffany: Well, if you don’t have trust and you don’t know your worth, and that’s definitely going to result in a disconnect. Right? 

Evelyn: Absolutely.

And then you know, even when you think about it in simpler terms. When we were babies we knew exactly What we need an unwanted right, we screamed, somebody fed us, we hooked, somebody cleaned us. When we were full, we stopped eating. And it wasn’t until adults put rules out for us that we started to disconnect with our bodies. So in my house, specifically, we got served dinner, and you did not get up for the table until your plate was empty, whether you were full or not. That’s what you did. And that kind of began the process for me of ignoring my own body cues. I’m eating because somebody told me what and how much to eat, rather than paying attention to what my stomach is telling me. Or even, you know, this is gonna sound silly, but going to the doctor, back in the day, when you got a shot or something, you’d get a lollipop, right. And that was the beginning of letting you know, like, oh, when you’re crying, or when you’re hurt sweets make you feel good, here you go, here’s a little emotional eating for you. So you don’t start to realize, like from very young, you knew what you needed, your body is naturally equipped to provide and to seek what it needs. But it’s the outside sources that come in and strip us of that intuition we had all along.

Tiffany: Right. And one of the things that that’s so good, because I think that from a very early age, we’re taught that food is the answer when we’re not happy. But it’s also when we are happy no one is it not the answer. And I find that as women, it’s, it’s always the answer until we start to dislike or disapprove of the way we look, or the way we feel. But I think, well, in my own personal experience, it was the way I looked before it was the way I feel. But I’m, I’m curious to know, for for the woman who has tried intuitive eating, or you know, being intentional, and seeing her weight going up and down as a result of that, because when you’re on a journey of self awareness and being more mindful, it’s not going to be a straight line, right? You have peaks and valleys, you have to learn yourself. And so when you have that experience, it can be discouraging, and take you back into the lie that the only way I’m going to lose this weight is if I go on a diet. And so how do you coach our encourage the woman who’s on that journey to dumping out all of that Miss information and learning her body and going through the process? And knowing that it’s going to be some trial and error, but how to. So ultimately the question is how does she stop from getting or feeling defeated, and then going back.

Evelyn: So I think the biggest factor is being present and being mindful and questioning yourself along the way, all the time. Because we’ve been disconnected for so long, reconnecting with your body has to be intentional and consistent. So when I say like, connecting with your body, I mean, literally asking yourself questions all the time, you know, rules will tell you a million things you have to do during the day. But when you wake up in the morning, if you’re not hungry, should you eat? No, your body’s telling you it doesn’t want to get when you sit down and have your meal, then it’s a matter of literally focusing your energy on feeling it out. How do I feel right now? Am I comfortable? You don’t paying attention to those cues. My stomach was growling before and now it’s not that means I’m nourishing my body. I had a headache before. And now I don’t, that means my body is getting what it needs. And when you can be more mindful, especially during the eating, you’ll start to notice like when those cues start to dissipate, you don’t have the headache, you don’t have the growling. That’s when you actually stop eating. And that’s how you first start to learn. Like what a portion actually looks like for yourself, not what somebody says you can eat. But this is when my body was satisfied. So it’s a matter of connecting intentionally and reminding yourself that it took you a lifetime to disconnect. It’s going to take some time to get back to where you want to be.

Tiffany: So good started with that very first thing that you said like if you wake up in the morning and you’re not hungry, don’t eat because you know the gurus will say like, even if you’re not hungry, you need to eat as soon as you wake up. Of course, that’s dependent on the guru that you follow. Exactly. What I hear you saying is that you have to trust yourself and God enough to know that you are the guru for your body. And then how does that work with exercise? It was this. You know everybody says it’s diet and exercise. And you have to have some semblance of balance between the both of them. So for that woman who has been like killing herself trying to do two days at the gym, and then starving when she gets home, because she’s been going, going going, but she’s worked out. How do you break that cycle and find your rhythm for what’s going to work for you.

Evelyn: So I feel like first it has to be totally based on your goals. Like, I love lifting weights, I do. I love lifting heavy weights, I love feeling the strength that I gained from it, I love being able to like stand next to my husband and lift the weight similar to his and be like, yep, I did that, you know. But that’s just that’s just a preference. At a minimum, I prefer to think of it as our nutrition, how we’re nourishing our body, and our movement. Not we don’t all have to lift weights, we don’t all have to do Zumba. We don’t all have to do 90 minute high intensity workouts, but we all have to move. So when we’re talking about changing your body, at a minimum, getting yourself back to a place of health and energy and improved sleep, you just need to move. And by that I mean go for walks, not even fast walks, I mean go for leisure walks, you will see let’s say that you were struggling to lose this weight. And you’ve been going to the gym five days a week. I actually had a client a year ago, who was working out twice a day dieting. And she was so frustrated because she was not losing a pound. And she was exhausted and she was having cravings like crazy. So you know, through a little evaluation, we can see she was exercising too much and not eating enough, which then was affecting her sleep. So truly, in three months, we got her to eat more, we cut out those two days. And we replaced them with two workouts a week, plus five days of leisure walking. And that walking in and of itself helped her body she was having pain issues from working out too much. The walking in and of itself helps not only lean out your body and help you burn fat, but it also reduces what’s called your cortisol level, which is your stress hormone. And when your cortisol levels reduced, you are able to handle your stress differently, you’re able to sleep better, you end up taking in more water. And if you pair that with being mindful with your food, and not doing things like overeating or depriving, that also keeps your cortisol levels neutral. Now, when your cortisol levels neutral across the board, your body naturally burns fat, because that’s what it’s made to do.

Tiffany: And you’re able to rest better,

Evelyn: and you’re able to rest better, which is everything.

Tiffany: So you really helped this client find the perfect balance for her. And when I say perfect, I’m doing air quotes, right? Because one of the things that I love that your bio says is that you help women to cease to chase perfection in all areas of our lives. And then you prepare us to know that you can want to change and love your body at the same time. Can you talk a little bit about or speak to a woman who is struggling and potentially has been struggling for years to find that perfect rhythm for herself? How does she find the love for herself in this space as she transitions into the next?

Evelyn: I think that no matter what the journey has to start with gratitude, because you cannot hate yourself then you cannot. You cannot hate yourself in just imagine.

Tiffany: Also. And again, I’m not taking anything away from the fact that there is a work that comes with making these kinds of changes. And some of it we may hate in the beginning but that also hating yourself then also has to do with hating completely hating the process, whatever that process is for you. You have to be able to express that gratitude for that process as well.

Evelyn: no, it’s 100% true. I mean, even to be grateful that you have the opportunity to start the process, grateful that you have you know the the wellness in your mind to want to have the journey, all of it. All of it is a part of gratitude. But I do believe that there’s something to be said about telling yourself even if I want to change my body, even if I want to lose these extra pounds. I still have to not, not can, but I still have to be able to look at myself and tell myself all the great things that I am. Because if I turn this light off right now, I can’t be defined by my body anymore because you can’t see me. So then what am I who am I focused on

lemon tea, right, like focus on who you are and what you bring to the people around you. And the more you’re grateful for who you are inside, the more you heal inside your outside just starts to flow better.

Tiffany: Oh, my gosh, that is so good.

Evelyn: It’s so true.

Tiffany: No good. And that speaks directly to what you were saying about how we approach things in life holistically is going to be how we impact others, be it our children, our spouses, our relationships, our professional environments, and also the legacy that we leave. Yes. And who wants a legacy of hating themselves?

Evelyn: And if you think about it in like the the simplest terms, like if you go to work, if you have a supervisor who constantly tells you, you are terrible at your job, you bring nothing to the table, you know, you’re a drain. Does that motivate you to do better at work? No, it makes you feel terrible, and it makes you want to give up. And that’s exactly what we do to ourselves. We’re constantly judging our physicality and ignoring everything else that we are. So we like are almost abusive toward ourselves

Tiffany: oh, my God!

and gratitude pages, all of that it’s so much all of the work, but it’s a large part of the word. And I’m so grateful that you that you said more than once how important it is to work on your mindset first.

So there’s one other thing that I wanted you to speak to specifically because our community is made primarily of women. And that is the fact that you are a hormonal fat loss coach ORS, can you tell me what that is? And what you do I have a hormonal fat loss.

Evelyn: So hormonal fat loss basically focuses on how your body burns fat as an individual because we all our bodies, all processed differently than you know as women are, hormones are much different than men. So your body burns fat retains fat retains fluid, all differently, especially during different times of the month. So when I am coaching someone, I help them figure out what types of foods are best for them, to increase their energy to help improve their sleep, to help improve symptoms around their cycles. All of those things are relevant to how your body responds to your hormones.

Tiffany: And how is it that someone gets to know their hormone on their own? How does that that process of self awareness start?

Evelyn: I mean, aside from going to the doctor and getting tested, there’s, you know, different tests, you can check for your estrogen and progesterone levels and things like that. But also you can focus on how you’re responding to things. If you are incredibly hungry between meals, if your energy is very low, if you’re having lots of cravings, for sweet and savory things, if you are not able to get consecutive hours of sleep without interruption. All of those things are telling you that your hormones are not balanced. So that’s the first step is recognizing it, and then troubleshooting it is next.

Tiffany: Gotcha.

That’s good. That’s really good. I know something else that has worked for me is actually tracking from day to day. You know, if it’s the time of the month that you’re supposed to be oscillating if it’s your cycle and tracking those feelings and how long they last before and after. And along with what you’re saying I know, helps doctors make informed decisions when it comes to helping you get to your optimal health exam managing those hormones. Never necessarily heard of someone being a hormonal factors. I think that’s amazing.

Evelyn: You know, I had worked with a hormonal fat loss coach after I had my daughter and I love to what I learned so quickly because it’s just amazing to feel like I can eat a meal and be mindful of how my body feels and recognize whether you know, that’s a good fit for me. So I feel like you know, as well as a woman you do notice that at certain times you feel more inflamed, maybe Be more bloated, you’re responding in different ways to your food. And I loved learning that I could just change my food and make my body feel better, more comfortable, energetic and sleep better. And honestly, through that process, I also learned how to improve my asthma symptoms with my food as well. So I realized, and I did work with a naturopath also. But when I’m having a, an asthma flare up, I do things like, make sure I have no sugars, cut back on dairy. And red meat, for some reason is also a trigger for me. So if I’m having an asthma flare up, I increase my greens, I increase my lean meats, and I remove, you know, like the dairy and any sugars. But and then and I feel clearer and lighter. And my answer is better. That’s good.

Tiffany: And I think, you know, like you said at the beginning, it’s not that significant things, simply to lose weight. However, depending upon your personal health, there may be something that you add or take away so that you are at your optimal best, not because of deprivation, not to lose weight. But to be healthy.

Evelyn: Yes, I think I think there’s two things to pay attention to here, like when we say, first of all, I want to say that when we focus on reaching this body, right, like, if you really break it down and think about it, you’re not really after this body, you are after how you want to feel in that body. So the body is not really the goal, what you want is to feel that. So you have to ask yourself, How can I get to that feeling? and detach it from the body? Like, I want to feel confident and comfortable? But really, what the heck does that have to do with what I look like, you know, so it’s like breaking that down.

Tiffany: But it’s that right there, Evelyn is like worth a million dollar, the gift to the point where you can embrace that truth, and then live accordingly. So powerful. so powerful.

Evelyn: You think about as moms to like, how much we hold ourselves back from the things that we enjoy? Because we’re uncomfortable in our skin. Like I think about how many times did I go to the beach, and not want to be in a bathing suit? How many times you know, was at the park with the kids and I just sat on the bench and watched them. Like, if we’re talking about legacy, and we’re talking about being the best human being the best parent, the best leader, the best model that you can be, then how can you expect them to live and watch you just exist. So your kids don’t care what you look like in a bathing suit, they want you to get in the water, your kids don’t care. If you’re tired at the park and you want to sit on the bench, they just want you to pay attention and maybe you know, help them do a cartwheel. Get up and be mobile and be present and enjoy the life that’s in front of you because you’re gonna wasted away wishing you were somebody different.

Tiffany: So the I’m so grateful for you being here and sharing your story and being fully transparent. And for all of the many, many, many nuggets that you saw. It’s given our listeners a lot to think about it certainly has given me a lot to think about. I can’t wait to re listen to this with my journal and like, jot some of these things down. Yes, like the questions that you were asking and saying to ask yourself and be intentional and present. those are those are great. So I want to know, if there is a quote, well, let me back up use. I know you said more than once that we’ve got to unlearn the things that we have learned the lies that we’ve been telling ourselves about how to lose weight or not. But I’m curious, is there a book that you might recommend around intentional eating, mindful eating? Or is there you know? Um, yeah, I will start with a book. Is there a book or even a podcast if you know of one? I know you don’t have one yet.

Evelyn: I don’t have a book. I know that I started my journey by my journey to like being more mindful by following Jill Coleman. Jill Coleman coined the phrase moderation. 365 and she really helped me learn about having zero restrictions, and healing the thought behind control, healing that needed to, you know, cut everything out and make food the enemy. So Jill Coleman In her site is moderation 365. And that’s on Instagram and I believe her website as well. She goes by Jill fit her her knowledge is incredible. And her tools for just letting go of that mindset are hugely impactful

Tiffany: I’ll make sure to link to her information in the show notes. And before I let you go, I just want to give you an opportunity to share a quote, or a scripture or even any lasting words of your own to encourage the woman who is or has been telling herself the lie that she will never lose weight, never be healthy or walk or feel good

Evelyn: I love Gandhi’s quote, Be the change you wish to see in the world, because I have made it my purpose to heal my own heart, so that I can heal all the women that follow me if I want a better life for my daughters to live in confidence. And for them to have a strong foundation of health and wellness and a sense of self worth, then I have to live that. So I can’t be for anybody else what I won’t be for myself.

Tiffany: Amen to that. And of course, before I let you go, Evelyn, where can our listeners find and connect with you and Evelyn alabaster fitness.

Evelyn: So on Instagram, it’s actually instagram and facebook at one levasseur Fitness. And my website is www. Evelyn

Tiffany: All right, well, I want to thank you again for being here. I have enjoyed this tremendously. And I’m sure our listeners are going to and I just want to thank you for being willing to share and do so so eloquently and so transparently, it has been quite the pleasure.

Evelyn: I love this conversation. Thank you so much for having me.

Tiffany: Oh, my goodness, were you are not blessed by all of the gems that Evelyn dropped, I know that, I am going to have to go back and listen to some pieces of this over and over again to really grasp the fullness of it. And I hope that you had your journal out, so that you could grab those notes and gems for later consumption. And you know, just really thinking through some of these things, and breaking down the lie that you will never be healthy, and that you have to be on a consistent cycle of dieting for the rest of your life. And if you were blessed by this episode, I would love it if you would take a moment or two and leave a review. You know that when you do you create an opportunity for other women to find the podcast and be blessed by what we have to share the gems that we are dropping and become part of this community. It takes literally a moment or two. You can also grab a screenshot and post it in your Instagram stories or your Facebook stories and tag me I am at the Tiffany up. I would appreciate that as well. And I hope that you will. If you have not already subscribed so that you are the first to know when the newest episode drops. We have some amazing guests coming on as we continue to move through our series on the lies we tell ourselves.

And of course I will leave you with this. God is not going to play you but if you think that you are going to be successful living the lie that you have to always be on a diet to be healthy. And I promise you are plaguing your self. Be blessed